That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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