Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize