I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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