i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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