im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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