So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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