What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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