so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize