so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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