Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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