it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i already hear my dad disowning me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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