Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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