so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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