I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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