hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize