you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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