My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize