Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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