Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
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His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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