that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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