I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize