there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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