Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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