I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize