Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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