New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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