I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
