i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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