I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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