my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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