I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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