my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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