I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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