Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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