Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
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when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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