Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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