i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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