Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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