Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize