God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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