I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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