So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize