I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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