Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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