You made me cry and you don't even care
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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