I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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