I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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