Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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