My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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