If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize